Understanding Anxiety: More Than Just Worry

Anxiety is one of the most common reasons people come to see me, and yet it is also one of the most misunderstood. So many of my clients arrive feeling confused or even ashamed by what they're experiencing, because they've been told to "just stop worrying" or "try to relax." If only it were that simple.

In this post, I want to explore what anxiety really is, why it shows up the way it does, and some gentle strategies that can help you start to manage it.

Anxiety is Not Just in Your Head

One of the first things I share with clients is that anxiety is not just a mental experience. It lives in your body too. You might notice a tight chest, a churning stomach, shallow breathing, muscle tension, or a racing heart. Some people experience dizziness, nausea, or a feeling of being "on edge" that they can't quite explain.

These physical sensations are not your imagination. They are your nervous system doing exactly what it was designed to do: preparing you for danger. The problem is that sometimes this alarm system fires when there is no real threat, or it stays switched on long after the danger has passed. That's when anxiety stops being helpful and starts getting in the way of your life.

The Many Faces of Anxiety

Anxiety doesn't look the same for everyone, and I think it's important to recognise that. For some people, it shows up as constant worry, the kind of overthinking that keeps you awake at three in the morning going over every possible scenario. For others, it might look like:

• Avoidance: Steering clear of situations, places, or people that feel threatening, even when you know logically that they're safe.
• Perfectionism: An overwhelming need to get things "right" as a way of managing the fear of failure or judgement.
• People-pleasing: Saying yes to everything because the thought of disappointing someone feels unbearable.
• Irritability: Snapping at loved ones because your nervous system is already stretched to its limit.
• Difficulty concentrating: Feeling scattered or unable to focus because your mind is constantly scanning for threats.
• Panic attacks: Sudden, intense surges of fear that can feel like you're having a heart attack or losing control.

If you recognise yourself in any of these descriptions, please know that you are not broken. Your nervous system is doing its best to protect you. It just needs some help recalibrating.

Why Does Anxiety Happen?

There is rarely a single cause of anxiety. In my experience, it tends to develop from a combination of factors. These might include early life experiences, difficult relationships, stressful life events, unprocessed trauma, or simply living in a world that places enormous demands on us.

Sometimes anxiety has its roots in childhood. If you grew up in an environment where you didn't feel entirely safe, whether physically or emotionally, your nervous system may have learned to stay in a state of high alert. That pattern can carry into adulthood, even when your circumstances have changed.

Understanding where your anxiety comes from isn't about blaming anyone or anything. It's about making sense of your experience so that you can start to respond differently.

Practical Strategies for Managing Anxiety

While therapy can help you explore the deeper roots of your anxiety, there are also some things you can start doing right now to help calm your nervous system:

1. Grounding Techniques

When anxiety takes hold, it can feel like you're being swept away. Grounding brings you back to the present moment. Try the 5-4-3-2-1 technique: notice five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste. This simple exercise helps anchor you in the here and now.

2. Breathing with Intention

Your breath is one of the most powerful tools you have. When you're anxious, your breathing tends to become shallow and rapid. Try slowing it down: breathe in for four counts, hold for four, and breathe out for six. The longer exhale activates your parasympathetic nervous system, which is your body's built-in calming mechanism.

3. Name It to Tame It

Research shows that simply naming your emotions can reduce their intensity. Instead of fighting the anxiety or trying to push it away, try saying to yourself: "I notice I'm feeling anxious right now." This small act of acknowledgement can create a little space between you and the feeling.

4. Move Your Body

Anxiety is energy. It wants to move through you. Physical movement, whether it's a walk, some stretching, or a dance around the kitchen, helps your body discharge that energy. You don't need to run a marathon. Even gentle movement can make a real difference.

5. Limit Your Input

We live in an age of constant information, and for an anxious mind, that can be overwhelming. Consider setting boundaries around social media, news consumption, and screen time. Give your nervous system the quiet it needs to settle.

"Anxiety does not have to define you. With the right support, you can learn to understand it, manage it, and live more freely."

When to Seek Professional Help

If anxiety is significantly affecting your daily life, your relationships, your sleep, or your ability to enjoy things, it may be time to speak with a professional. Therapy can help you understand your anxiety at a deeper level and develop lasting strategies for managing it.

In my practice, I use a combination of CBT techniques, which help you identify and challenge unhelpful thought patterns, and person-centred exploration, which allows us to understand the emotional roots of your anxiety in a safe and supportive space.

If any of this has resonated with you, I'd love to hear from you. You don't have to have it all figured out before reaching out. That's what I'm here for.